December 20, 2012
-
I wanna sue them
True story. Left without interpretation for you to discuss among yourselves.
Her: ”Doc, I need you to test me for drugs,” she said, straight-faced and serious.
Me: ”OK,” I answered, “why is that?”
Her: ”Well, I think they put something in my crack. After I smoked it, I got all paranoid and felt all dizzy. It’s been 2 hours, I’m fine now, but I think they put something in it.”
Me: ”Wait, what? You smoked crack and then you felt dizzy and paranoid. But you want me to test you for drugs?”
Her: ”Test me to find out what they put in it. They can’t do that. I’m gonna sue them!”
Me: ”You want me to test you to see what your dealers may have put in your crack so that you can sue them?”
Her: ”Yeah, I got an attorney and all that, just test my blood,”
Me: ”You know crack is illegal right?”
Her: ”But they can’t do that,”
Me: ”<speechless>”
Comments (4)
Wow. Is all I have to say.
That reminds me of a story I read a few months back in the Washington Post. Some lady was HIV+ but had not told her boyfriend, who she was having unprotected sex with. She had been HIV+ for years. She wanted to bring boyfriend to next appt and pretend “OMG I JUST TESTED HIV+! Maybe you gave it to me, boyfriend?!” And have the doctor go along. Needless to say, the doc refused.
You’re so lucky to meet such interesting people in your job. You could have a really fascinating social life if you blended work contacts with personal life.
@sahel578 - Heh. I’m yet to “go along” with pretty much any of the schemes my patients think up.
@Roadkill_Spatula - This person really was quite normal in every other way. I see much scarier patients. I’ll stick with my current level of fascination with my social life, I don’t need to be shot just yet