May 30, 2012
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But the Internet TOLD me!
My job as and Emergency Department physician is basically giving advice.
People come to me with a problem, I suggest tests to discover what is causing said problem and propose a solution.
Technically, I work in an ER (or an Emergency Room (or Emergency Department (ED))). However, like so many acronyms current out there, people have began ignoring the actual words. It’s sad to say, but when something gets initialized, it loses its meaning. Never has this been more true than on the internet.
What does “lol” mean? If you are an slightly educated dolt, you might say “laughing out loud.” However, this is not true. You don’t type lol when you laugh out loud. You type lol whenever you find something mildly amusing. Or perhaps you put it at the end of a mean statement to take away a little of the sting.
Text: “I saw you at the gym today, Janet, you looked like a warthog puked on you, lol”
Similarly, the ED has lost it’s meaning. Emergency. That’s the first letter, but people often go for pretty trivial issues; or they go when they have learned just enough from the internet to become insane.
Don’t get me wrong, people love the internet. I love the internet. Its just painful when I’m caught in the whiplash of people freaking out over a chain letter.
So.
I enter the room to find a fine (read gullible) young man who appears anxious, but otherwise fine. Upon interviewing, he immediately demands that I run a “NutraSweet” level on him. I smile and nod and then try to determine his actual reason for being in the ED. However, he is serious. He starts listing off a series of vague complaints that he KNOWS is caused by high levels in his blood. I do my normal exam, and excuse myself.
I’ll be honest. We don’t have a NutraSweet level detector in the ED. What happened is that one of his friends, or possibly a chain letter, convinced him that he had lupus. Now I was stuck with this healthy guy freaking out. He had all sorts of stuff that he had printed out for me that he wanted to read. I’m talking multiple pages. It would have taken longer than my shift to read all of this.
Aspartame is in everything. Is it great for you? No. But it has been studied EXTENSIVELY and found to be safe. But this did pique my curiosity. So I went here and found that several chain letters had been made. I tried to convince my patient that he was fine. I also tried to convince him that this was not an emergency. I failed on both parts. I subsequently discharged him with a diagnosis of “come back when you are sick” and went on to my next patient.
…
This fine young man had his phone on him. On his phone he had looked up something on the most noted and respected Medical journal ever made… Yahoo! Answers. Yes, that’s right, Yahoo answers. If you are unfamiliar with this site, it is a site where you can pose a question to the population as a whole and whoever happens to be looking at your question (read as people with waaaay to much time on their hands) will spout out a made up answer.
So I found out that this guy had already been seen and evaluated. Earlier. The. Same. Day. Every possible bad diagnosis had been ruled out (thoroughly).
After this, instead of going home and following the discharge instructions, he went home and went online. The online community responded with furious vehemence. The random people online gave many possible reasons for his problems… all of which had already been ruled out.
He continued to scroll through his phone and click on different links for me. With saint-like calm, I allowed him to show me several things. Then I explained that there were literally no more tests for me to do. Everything had been ruled out. He was fine. After realizing he was fine, he felt much better.
Another emergency solved… by telling him he was fine.
Comments (10)
haha… next time someone do that to you, showing answers he found on the internet, you should show him this very post, ahaha…
Next time , just kill them.
Justifiable homicide…no jury would find you guilty.
Great post man.
I love these posts.
I’ll admit though, I think my GP is rather incompetent. I have been sick with something for over 10 years and he seems kind of lethargic as far as trying to figure out what is wrong. So when someone sends me the webMD or Mayo page on a condition that looks like it COULD be what’s going on, that I have a lot of symptoms for, it is really, really tempting to go to my GP (not the ER, I would never do that) and ask to be tested specifically for that thing.
But I don’t, because I know there is a stigma by doctors against people who do those kind of things. And then I read posts like this, and that just makes me basically not ever want to go in to see a doctor again because my doctor has honestly made me lose faith in the medical profession.
It is really frustrating because I am tired of not knowing WHY I have been so sick for so long. I just want a doctor to figure it out. So now I don’t know if I should just give up because I don’t want to be that annoying patient wanting tests for stuff I found out about online, or just suck it up in the name of finding out what the hell is wrong, or just find another doctor entirely.
I SO don’t want to be anywhere in the same realm as these idiots you wrote about.
Yahoo Answers sounds like a good place to get a few kicks!
“You’ve ruptured your pitman arm! Go to the hospital immediately before your Pinkle gland explodes!”.
If someone comes in with this, don’t blame me.
@Bricker59 - Heh, I’m always terrified of the “no jury will find you guilty,” since a jury is of ones ‘peers.’
@Irish_Russian - Yah, browsing Yahoo answers is actually quite a funny place, but it can be terrifying.
@maniacsicko - Heh, don’t tempt me.
@BohemianLotus - Well… that’s pretty much what your GP is for. It’s been bothering you for 10 years??? That’s a long time (again, not an emergency, but if your GP can’t figure it out, it’s time to get referred to someone who can).
I have a friend like that! LOL
Oh, my goodness! I was once in an ER as sent there by my midwife and the ER was sending people to an Urgent Care Clinic if they weren’t ER qualified. Can your ER do that? It seems really silly to see people in a hospital for something like that.
You have better things to do with your time. Big waste of your time. Next time throw him out on his ear…after finding out why he is worried about Nutrasweet and encouraging him to stop consuming it if he is so worried. Also, a referral to a psychologist or to a friend for him to talk over things may have been helpful.
@TiredSoVeryTired - I’m required by law to do a medical screening exam on any patient regardless of their complaint, ability to pay, or painfully low IQ
@greatredwoman - Ah, you’re using logic, such a dangerous thing to try to do when working in an ER.
@slicy - Oh, it wasn’t doctors sending patients away. I am guessing it was some triage nurses, I don’t know. But it wasn’t doctors and had nothing to do with their ability to pay. They were just saying that their complaints weren’t an emergency, go here to this Urgent Care just down the street and they’ll take care of them.