September 5, 2008
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Revelations
Ever noticed when you are at work that you are completely surrounded by the same thing over and over again?
Me too.
Sometimes it’s kinda weird like that in the ER.
My patients kept having similar problems. I had two nice ladies both with knee problems on the same shift.
I had two drunk people that were both (shockingly) complete jerks and idiots. Not only that but BOTH of them had soiled themselves. Not only that but both had done so repeatedly. One guy had crapped his pants MULTIPLE times. I know we’ve all been there. You get so drunk that you feel like nothing else matters… but come on! I mean, even if you DID go once, would you want to kinda get yourself cleaned up before the next go around? My urine soaked friend was somewhat similar. However, all of the coverings in excrement led me to an interesting discovery. Peppermint oil.
We have this oil in the ED that can be used under masks to help with the occasionally overwhelming and nauseating odors we encounter.
I personally don’t really use the stuff, since not puking is one of my super-powers (the kryptonite to this is of course is my sea-sickness, but I’ll get to that another post). However, many of the techs and nurses were getting kinda ill with the wet-dog/urine smell coming from our drunk friend. So, as I walked by, I noticed a few peppermint soaked gauzes around the guy. Then I noticed a few more. Then I noticed many many more. Eventually he had what appeared to be a Buddist Monk style surrounding of little soaked gauzes, shrouding the edges of his gurney while he slept off his booze. Every time I walked by this guy with his multiple peppermint talismans surrounding him, I felt like bowing.
Finally, he sobered up enough to leave. I bowed respectfully to my drunken master and bid the great holy dragon fair weather and strength, as he lumbered away to what I would guess would be the closest liquor store.
I still love my job.
Comments (4)
and you wanted me to write a haiku about that guy??
today we all had our throats checked and then got antibiotics prescribed. And the second after the doctor had checked both our kids I catch a glinps of our 6yo shoving a pen into her 3yo sister’s mouthm instructing her to say “ahhhhh”.
The pen had a Micky Mouse figure at the end that was in her mouth. That was a Kodak moment.
Funny gross.
“I know we’ve all been there.”
We have? I musta been really, really drunk!
@Irish_Russian - Heh, I wish there was a standardized font for sarcasm. I wrote that with the assumption that (hopefully) not many of you have been there. In fact, I hope that very very few ever have to deal the the double (well, maybe triple) pant-loaded drunk.
@lhotsedog - I think there needs to be a word for both funny and gross at the same time. Hey, that’s pretty grunny! Or, hey that really fross! I’m going with grunny.