March 6, 2008

• 3. Walter (continued).  For what it’s worth, by posting these I’m actually starting to get back into writing.  I wrote most of this story about 3 years ago, but now I’m adding and editing as I go.  So go team go! 

  Oh, I got the award plaque from Writers Digest in the mail, here’s a pic:
  

  Hah, just kidding.  They actually did send me quite a nice certificate and a very nice letter.  I was, heck I still am flying really high from all the hoopla about the prize.  The downside is that I’m not sure if they’re going to actually publish the short story in the magazine, or just some of it, or something like that.  I know it’s going to be published on their online version of the magazine.  Oh well, I guess I’ll find out on April 15th when it comes out.

  Pretty cool, no?  That’s the good news.  The other good news is that I can contact some guy in Canada about future publishing ventures.  However, I don’t have volumes of other works to really bring to a publisher, but I’ll contact the guy and see what he has to say.  I spoke with my old roommate Superman recently, his advice was to be as condescending as possible and demand top dollar for my unpublished works.  Hmm, seems like a good approach to me.

  Me: “I’ve heard that your insignificant little publishing hut wants to represent me.  Do you have any idea who I am?”

  Them:  “Um, who is this?”

  Me: “I’m the winner of the Short Story award!”

  Them: “And?”

  Me: “Yes, um, well, I think you should look through my many works and I would like $500,000 up front and then 80% of each book sold.”

  Them: <Ruffling noises from them trying not to wet themselves from laughing at me>  “…sorry about that, hah, you obviously have a good sense of humor!  How about this instead, you write us 5 new novels, and we’ll look at the first 2 pages of one of them, and then we’ll tell you that you suck.”

  Me:  “Hmm, that sounds fair to me”

  Them:  “Pleasure doing business with you”

  Well, we’ll actually see what really happens.  In the meantime, here’s the next installment.

  3. Walter (cont).

      Walters’ curiosity also blossomed
  into “adventures” from time to time.  He
  knew his parents cared little about what he did; however, he knew his
  con-scheme would be frowned upon.  Thus,
  Walter took it upon himself to spend five minutes researching hidden
  cameras.  Interestingly enough, Walter
  found this interesting.  His five minutes
  blossomed into five days.  He became
  infatuated with the high tech aspect of monitoring other people without ever
  actually having to be around.

  Considering
  Walter had virtually zero expenses and a great income (for doing nothing), he
  had plenty of extra cash to purchase equipment. 
  Thus, Walter began accumulating all sorts of different cameras,
  monitoring equipment, and all the latest gadgets he found online.  Then, when they arrived, he tried them out by
  setting them up all around his room.  He
  had 16 mini-screens on his computer all showing Walter from different
  angles.  He had cameras hidden in smoke
  detectors, in alarm clocks, and in a big glowing “EXIT” sign he had
  bought.  Walter had working pens that
  could record seven hours of audio, he had a pipe that could be used to smoke
  (he didn’t but he could) that also doubled as a video camera, and he even had a
  GPS tracking system that could fit into a pack of gum.  By the time he had received and set up all of
  him many purchases, he had forgotten that he had bought it all to spy on his
  parents, but he enjoyed tinkering with his cameras from time to time.

  It did not
  take long before Walter became an expert in the field.  When he became fascinated with something, he
  immersed himself so deeply that he often would not be heard from for weeks at a
  time.  Usually this involved
  video-games.  He bragged to “Ubor-pned!”
  online that he beat the original Final Fantasy X game in only 3 days.  This was true, even though the game normally
  takes most people over 50+ hours to finish the game.  Well, it took Walter 65 hours, but he did
  finish in 3 days.  This single minded fanaticism
  overtook him when it came to the field of surveillance, and he continued to
  search for the smallest, fastest, and best possible devices on the market.  With his lifestyle being as it was (99%
  indoors, 0.5% walking to/from food, 0.5% pick up mail or letting out the dog),
  he became friends with most of the cutting edge people in the field.  some of them who really knew their stuff were
  techie’s, like himself, but others were individuals employed by different
  agencies.  It was after chatting with an
  agent for an hour, actually the agent contacted Walter for advice, when Walter
  realized he really did not have any questions, and that people were coming to
  him for advice.
  

  
  4.  Walter (cont) 

              Walter’s
  day was not going as well as he would have liked.  His pudgy face was literally dripping
  sweat.  The air conditioner had
  broken.  He had yelled at his parents
  from his room several times, but they did nothing (the first two times he had
  yelled, they had been out of the house, but he had been too immersed in the
  World of Warcraft to check such frivolities). 
  Walters white T-shirt had changed to a near orange color from the
  dripping sweat marks.  The heat, however,
  did not stop Doodles from his daily wanderings through cyberspace.   Just one week previously he had broken into
  a Colorado States email system and was beginning his preliminary snooping.  He found the normal dramas occurring; Yada
  yada broke up with so and so, blah blah blah. 
  Doodles desired more intrigue, he was sick of the same old crap.  After scanning over several emails, he
  discovered an email that perked his curiosity. 
  The email referred to a person (“Stale Dale”) as “that frickin weirdo
  that always wears black.”  Doodles thus
  decided to check Dale out, during which he came across the message that would
  change his life forever. 

  
  
  
  
  

  • 2:31 pm
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