True story. Left without interpretation for you to discuss among yourselves.
Her: ”Doc, I need you to test me for drugs,” she said, straight-faced and serious.
Me: ”OK,” I answered, “why is that?”
Her: ”Well, I think they put something in my crack. After I smoked it, I got all paranoid and felt all dizzy. It’s been 2 hours, I’m fine now, but I think they put something in it.”
Me: ”Wait, what? You smoked crack and then you felt dizzy and paranoid. But you want me to test you for drugs?”
Her: ”Test me to find out what they put in it. They can’t do that. I’m gonna sue them!”
Me: ”You want me to test you to see what your dealers may have put in your crack so that you can sue them?”
Her: ”Yeah, I got an attorney and all that, just test my blood,”
Me: ”You know crack is illegal right?”
Her: ”But they can’t do that,”
Me: ”<speechless>”