September 23, 2012
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Critical Foot Sweat
I thought that by now, I would be immune to the ridiculousness of complaints in the ER.
Not yet.
In retrospect, I’m thinking drugs were on board.
The following occurred around 3:30am
Her: My pinky toe hurts!
Me: Uh-huh, for how long?
Her: Like a year. And my feet have been sweating. Like a lot!
Me: Uh-huh. Well, let me check it out. (I put on gloves and try to examine her foot)
Her: Whoa! You can’t just go grabbin’ someones foot.
Me: I’m sorry, did that hurt?
Her: No. But, you know, my toe.
Me: Um. So, it’s not hurting?
Her: No, but you’re grabbing it.
Me: Right, well I have to check it out. That’s what you’re here for.
Her: Yeah.
Me: <So I check out her foot and her toes, and everything is completely normal>
Her: Oh, and I’m pooping a lot.
Me: Oh. OK. Any pain or discomfort with that? Diarrhea? Constipation?
Her (angrily): No man! It’s all normal. Does your boyfriend ask you how much you shit?
Me: No. So you have no pain, you feel fine, but your here for toe pain that you have had
on and off for a while in your pinky toe.
Her (very angry): Your acting like you don’t even care that my feet sweat.
Me: No, I don’t care that your feet sweat. This is an Emergency Department, if you are concerned about your feet sweat, you can follow up with your primary care doctor.
So I released the patient back into the wild. I was unable to cure the frequent normal bowel movements. I couldn’t stop the foot sweat. She left angrily. Oh, but let me get on my soapbox for a second, my job performance is directly related to how satisfied and happy my “customers” are in the ER. Thus, she can fill out an unsatisfied survey and I get in trouble. Sweet.
I try to be very nice, kind, patient, and compassionate towards my patients. However, in the ER, you often have to give terrible news. ”Aunt Mertyl has cancer, or you have pneumonia, or your mom just died…” This is not your normal customer provider interaction. I know vast majority of the time I have a great rapport with my patients, but inevitably people still hate hearing terrible news.
Also, I often have to tell people things they don’t want to here. You really should stop smoking. Drinking that 1/5th of vodka a day is going to kill you. You are way too fat and that is what is making your back hurt. As it turns out, unprotected sex can cause pregnancy, and no, drinking mountain dew will not prevent it (i wish that was made up). Also, if you come to the ER with a sore back that has been bothering you for 2 months, the guy with the heart attack is going to go in front of you, even if he came in after you.
Do you think patients in an ER should be treated like customers in a restaurant?
Comments (6)
There are doctors that feed off this stuff, like the clinics that used to advertise cures for Restless Leg Syndrome and sweaty palms. You’re in the wrong line of business.
With ObamaCare on the way, we are all going to wish longingly for restaurant service as we wait in lines 200 yards long like at the Department of Motor Vehicles in California.
You have the best blog on xanga. Every story you have is true, hilarious, and showcases the idiots our world is made up of. I’m glad there’s ppl like you to deal with them. I hope your performance review isn’t based too much on “customer” reviews.
@Roadkill_Spatula - Yeah, you are exactly right. Its just not in me to sell my soul to sell some snake-oil to imbeciles who buy cure-alls.
@PrisonerxOfxLove - Time will tell, but I’m pretty scared for what might come.
@lovepeacecalm - Thank you for the kind words! Most people who come into the ER with actual medical problems seem to be pretty happy, so I’m not too worried about the occasional screw-ball with toe pain at 3:30 am
I can’t believe people can be that stupid….my mom is a nurse and she graduates with her Master’s next Spring(ish). She does clinicals and she says she sees a LOT of stupid, ignorant, and RUDE people.
How sad. Nurses/doctors/etc are there to HELP….
I’m guilty of being rude to doctors sometimes, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was very sick a few years ago and I had no family there to back me up, and I was very young and doctors took advantage of that situation to do some really wrong things to me. I was basically treated like shit, because they had nobody to answer to. Not just doctors, but nurses, EMS. Of course not everybody was like that, but the few who were, really made an impression. So if you find me in an ER someday acting like a bitch, I’m just projecting my shit onto you. It’s my issues, not yours.