March 24, 2011

• Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bloody Day

  I try to be the most upbeat and optimistic guy I know.

  Sometimes I succeed, other times I fail.

  However, even with my attempt at ever-cheerful always-positive constant-hyphen-usage, sometimes I still have days that no matter what I do, I still end up being on the receiving end of a steamy poop casserole.

  The day started like most, with me slowly gaining consciousness to my beautiful daughter asking for my wife.  I am the runner up winner in my daughters world.  Mom first, second, and third, and if she is really REALLY not around, and she has asked (where is mommy?) 223,387 times without me saying “ta-dah!” right behind you… then I am OK.

  So I go to work. 

  Now I know on some planet, people ease into their days at work.  They go get a cup of coffee, check a few emails, chit-chat the shi-shat at the water cooler or something like that.  It was in the first four seconds of my arrival that I realized today was not going to be the sunniest Care Bear filled lollipop of a day.  The first thing I saw when I entered the ER was the charge nurse.  His first words to me were:

  “Yougotta furnnyGobber Summa PRIORITY ONE gobber bobby fabba!”

  I wake up slowly, so I was not quite catching everything he said, just the important parts.  Captain Priority One was a nice gentleman who over the several years of smoking gradually forgot how to do certain things that come naturally to most people.  Like breathing.

  The day continued downhill from there in a busy, rock-em sock-em-filled,  feculant-vomit filled ,GI-bleed-filled, covered in some other persons diarrhea-blood-filled-and-also-hyphen-filled day.

  So, to those who ask.  Yes, I do have bad days.

  However, I am still trying to make baby number two, and as it turns out, practicing is quite fun.

  • 4:51 pm
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