June 2, 2010
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Letters
Letter#1
Dear Sleep,
Hey again, it’s me. I know you’ve probably been busy, hanging out with a bunch of other people, but I was just hoping that you and I could get together again soon. I know my daughter has really cramped our “hanging out” time, but hopefully you can come over, maybe just for 4-5 hours? I think my wife misses you more than I do!Hope to see you soon! Seriously! Really really really!!! Please!!!!!
-Slicy
Letter #2Dear intestines
Hey down there, just a quick note.
I know you guys are busy and working hard, but is there any way you could not create massive amounts of toxic-incapacitating levels of noxious gas while I’m at work? My co-workers keep wondering why I only pick up patients that are in the ER for “intestinal trouble,” but I have to cover it somehow.
-Slicy
Letter#3Dear Coffee,
Voot voot voot! You’re better than sleep so much better so much better woot woot woot! Maybe not when you wear off but that doesn’t seem to be a problem as long as I drink more and sometimes I think it might catch up to me and thena lsdkfjalk;jasd l;jknl; zzzzzz
Letter#4Dear Nose,
Any way you could stop functioning while I’m changing Sam’s diaper? Seriously, I get it. I get the joke. Yes, she is super small, yet makes tiny dumps that can kill a buffalo. I also get the irony that she’s my daughter. Ha ha. For your convenience I have attached Letter#2, which I also forwarded to Sam’s GI system as well.
Thanks,
-Slicy
Letter #5
Dear Reproductive organs…How YOU doin?
-slicy
Letter #6
Dear feet,
This is a letter of apology. I know that there are about 234,983 different small toys that my daughter leaves on the floor. Most of them are pointy. I know I should turn on the light to look for them before going to bed. Sigh, I know, my bad. I know I’ve said I’ll never do it again before, we both know this is a lie.
I’m sorry,
-slicy
Letter #7
Dear ears,
I know, I know, I know. “The Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree” sucks. Listen, Sam loves the song. You better just get used to it, cause we’re going to listen to it a lot. You want me to mix it up? huh? You sure? I have Head Shoulders Knees and Toes right here as well, and I’m not afraid to put that CD in.Don’t worry, in 8 short years we can get back to listening to crappy techno, I still have the files I loaded to my xanga account, don’t you worry.
-slicy
Letter #8
Dear brain,
Hi there! You’re doing great! Good job! Um, is there any way you could pump out some extra endorphins since you are so awesome and cool and wuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg…. ttttthhhhhhhaaaaaaannnnnnnnnxxxxxxxxx…
Comments (4)
Just wait til she starts watching Barney!!
Loved this.
lol I like the last one.. poor feet and ears though
This is great! Hope to see you guys soon!
sleep wants to hang out with me but i keep telling him that when my son wails, i gotta go means i really gotta go. even when there’s a nanny taking care of him.
drew’s reproductive organs have been busy. i brought out the ovulation test kits again.
my son loves elmo’s ABC song with india (see it on youtube). he stops whatever he’s doing when it comes on. he also loves elmo. i better check out who kookaburra is. i mean, whatever works!