March 29, 2008
-
This is America
There’s a problem with U.S. health care. This problem would be that almost 20% of the US is uninsured. Scary, no? To be honest, I find this terrifying. Health care is incredibly expensive, and can bankrupt anyone required serious care. Fortunately, there is a place, much like Cheers, where you can go regardless of status, race, religion, weight, wealth, or previous health-care. Sometimes, if you go there enough, you can be like Norm and everyone will know you name. This is the open arms of the ER.
In case you did not know, you do not need money to go and be treated. Come in with any complaint, and we’ll check you out. Just let us know what is wrong, we’ll do our best to fix it. However, sometimes that question can be tough. What is wrong?
The baby in question: an adorable little 3 month old.
The question asked: why are you in the ER today?
The answer: “This is America, my baby needs health care.”Well, to a degree I agree. I think all babies in the U.S. should be entitled to health care. However, I’m still not sure for the reason you brought your child in for evaluation today. Please shed some light… No? Um. Please? A child’s health is not like a gas tank, it does not slowly decrease over time, then you go to the hospital to get filled up the health tank, then back on the road again. Yet it seemed mom was somewhat befuddled by this question, so… we pressed onward.
I asked my normal questions… drinking well (yes) peeing (yes) pooping(yes) activity good (yes) easily consoled (yes) alert/active (yes) immunizations (yes) hydrated (yes) fever(no) taking meds(no) allergic (no) vomiting (yes) AHA!. Here we go, something abnormal. So the kid actually was vomiting for a day, thus mom was not actually 100% insane (though why she didn’t volunteer this info…). Short story, the kid ate, kept it down, and did fine. We filled up the tank with health care. Excellent. Oh, and could you please stop smoking around your 3 month old? No? Great.
Now don’t get me wrong. I know that kids don’t come with instruction manuals; and any two idiots with the right parts can make one. I have noticed that kids also can behave like cars. They’ll clank and make horrible noises at home, but when they get brought into the shop, they’ll purr like kittens. I try to take that into account. If they looked like crap at home, but now look better and want them checked out, great, fine, you bet… but please, next time you come to the ER, even in America, know why you came.
Oh, speaking of smoking around kids, let me get back on my soapbox.
I got this a long time ago and just found it again while cleaning up my desktop. Smoking while pregnant is apparently fine, it’s those loud noises that bother her… Awesome.
Comments (9)
woah
I’m eternally grateful that all kids have free healthcare until they are 19 here (Sweden).
When I rotated in ER, it drove me totally crazy seeing these frequent fliers who have mastered the art of abusing the health care system. That’s why I don’t envy your job.
That was good eliciting of the history, though.
There should be a law against pregnant mothers who smoke.
I see your point: When Julie was pregnant with Sam, I told her to start smoking so she could keep his birth weight down and his head small. This seemed an obvious way to prevent unnecessary pain and tearing when the big day finally came. Did she listen? No! Sam was big, came late, had to be induced with Pitocin, didn’t progress, and was born by C-section. I rest my case. Now, with no developmental delays, he’s quickly learning how to open cupboards and pull out the pots and pans. Pain in the ass! I’m moving to Roanoke.
Thanks for the tip, though. Next time to streamline things we’re doing the whole delivery at the E.R. so we don’t have to go through the hassle of filing an insurance claim. And we’re naming our baby Norm. Thank you, taxpayers!
Great post – I just prayed you two SpiritProps. Who are we to know when God will deliver them?
@Ross - Heck as long as your at it, you might as well conceive the baby in the ED. Oh wait, no one would ever do something like that… or would they? I guess I’ll have to wait till tomorrow to put up that post
hahaha, interesting story, healthcare is always the answer
and that newspaper clipping pisses me off
anyways, came to your site from relaxolgy because i saw such a lovely picture of a fun-loving clown and decided I had to check it out.
pacem
i blame public education and ::shudders:: Spongebob
@qccan - I blame the death of common sense. Per Dennis Miller (love him or hate him), common sense seems like a limited resource. As the population of the US rises, the net amount of common sense stays the same, thus the average amount of common sense per individual has been slowly decreasing over the years. Now the amount has been stretched farther than Rush Limbaugh’s G-string to the point of transparent thin-ness… sweet.
Ew i so didn’t need that visual! Mutters
To my own wits the whole thing you agree looks like correct
water parks in NJ | show homes | styrofoam recycling