I thought that by now, I would be immune to the ridiculousness of complaints in the ER.
Not yet.
In retrospect, I’m thinking drugs were on board.
The following occurred around 3:30am
Her: My pinky toe hurts!
Me: Uh-huh, for how long?
Her: Like a year. And my feet have been sweating. Like a lot!
Me: Uh-huh. Well, let me check it out. (I put on gloves and try to examine her foot)
Her: Whoa! You can’t just go grabbin’ someones foot.
Me: I’m sorry, did that hurt?
Her: No. But, you know, my toe.
Me: Um. So, it’s not hurting?
Her: No, but you’re grabbing it.
Me: Right, well I have to check it out. That’s what you’re here for.
Her: Yeah.
Me: <So I check out her foot and her toes, and everything is completely normal>
Her: Oh, and I’m pooping a lot.
Me: Oh. OK. Any pain or discomfort with that? Diarrhea? Constipation?
Her (angrily): No man! It’s all normal. Does your boyfriend ask you how much you shit?
Me: No. So you have no pain, you feel fine, but your here for toe pain that you have had
on and off for a while in your pinky toe.
Her (very angry): Your acting like you don’t even care that my feet sweat.
Me: No, I don’t care that your feet sweat. This is an Emergency Department, if you are concerned about your feet sweat, you can follow up with your primary care doctor.
So I released the patient back into the wild. I was unable to cure the frequent normal bowel movements. I couldn’t stop the foot sweat. She left angrily. Oh, but let me get on my soapbox for a second, my job performance is directly related to how satisfied and happy my “customers” are in the ER. Thus, she can fill out an unsatisfied survey and I get in trouble. Sweet.
I try to be very nice, kind, patient, and compassionate towards my patients. However, in the ER, you often have to give terrible news. ”Aunt Mertyl has cancer, or you have pneumonia, or your mom just died…” This is not your normal customer provider interaction. I know vast majority of the time I have a great rapport with my patients, but inevitably people still hate hearing terrible news.
Also, I often have to tell people things they don’t want to here. You really should stop smoking. Drinking that 1/5th of vodka a day is going to kill you. You are way too fat and that is what is making your back hurt. As it turns out, unprotected sex can cause pregnancy, and no, drinking mountain dew will not prevent it (i wish that was made up). Also, if you come to the ER with a sore back that has been bothering you for 2 months, the guy with the heart attack is going to go in front of you, even if he came in after you.
Do you think patients in an ER should be treated like customers in a restaurant?
