August 28, 2012
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Take This Cocaine! Now!
Recently one of the fine nurses I work with had a patient come in who was stoned off his rocker on crack.
This is not unusual. On any given day it is quite likely that the majority of my patients are either drunk, high, or psychotic. Many are all three. However, what made this unique was that she stated that she didn’t use any drugs at all. Some people are pretty good at pretending they are not drunk or high. However, this fine man was not of that caliber. Also, she had more crack on her in the ER. We’re not cops, so we don’t care all that much about what you do at home unless it starts making our lives difficult, then we care a whole lot.
As it turned out, she also had a crack pipe on her, along with the extra crack.
How could this be possible.
Fortunately, she explained.
“Yeah, some guy made me do the crack and then put all that stuff in my pockets,” she said, as if this were the most logical explanation in the world.
“Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…” said the nurse, while using her saint-like patience not to throttle the patient.
So it turned out that our hero actually was on probation and didn’t want to be caught using illicit substances. However, I’m sure any judge would wave such grievances since all of these drugs were forced on her by some random stranger. I don’t know how many druggies you know, but most that I know love to give away their drugs to people for no reason.
Don’t you hate it when that happens? Just walking down the street and some random guy forces you to do crack.
Man I hate that. I was going to go to Costco today, but now I have to get high and scream obscenities at squirrels for three hours.
Oh well “GET OFF MY LAWN YOU PUFFY TAILED RAT!”
Also, if you were wondering, these are the highlights if you goto google images with “Crack squirrel”
Woodland rodents need their fix too, don’t be so judgmental.
Comments (4)
crack makes squirrels go all gaga over dinosaurs too…who knew
I talked with a guy yesterday whose friends and neighbors are spying on him by internet and phone and cable tv. One of the proofs is that he moved into an apartment that had no screens, but the day he looked out the window because his neighbor’s dog was barking, they installed screens! Now how else do you explain that?
I suspect you get plenty of those as well.
Lol my favorite is the lightsabers one
When we were kids, my best friend’s dad disappeared for a couple days. When he returned, he swore that he had been kidnapped by Jamaicans and forced to smoke crack all weekend. So maybe there are some rogue drug dealers out there just forcing their wares onto people…