When first you taste the sweet fruit of insanity, you may never want an apple again.
I have taken care of quite a few people lately that have received penetrating trauma. No, I am not referring to people who are experimenting after reading 50 shades of Gray.
It seems that with the heatwave in the midwest, the only activity that can really get people cooled off is shooting and stabbing one another. They have been of various races, ages, and backgrounds (though all have been male).
Now, if you have ever worked in an ER, you know a few irrevocable facts. By using these facts, you can prevent yourself from being shot or stabbed, or at least decrease the chance.
1. Never, EVER, mind your own business.
Now I know this sounds counter intuitive, but just ask any single person who just got shot or stabbed what happened. They ALL answer the same thing. Every single time they respond “I was minding my own business when I got shot!” This is not a new story. This is the same story. Every single person who gets shot is minding their own business.
My suggestion is to really get into everyone else’s business. Not a single person has said to me “I was up in someones face doing something I shouldn’t have been doing.” So, get in people’s business. What are those people over there doing? GO FIND OUT, get in there. As soon as you start minding your own business, you better look out.
2. Look out for two dudes.
These two dudes get around. I am relatively sure they are shapeshifters of some kind, since not a single person is able to describe what they look like. They have no color, they are guys though. They have no ethnicity, they are just two dudes. If you see two dudes, especially if you are minding your own business, get the hell out of there!
3. Don’t do nuthin’.
This is a dangerous activity. I’m sorry, but if you don’t do anything, somehow this attracts people with guns. For some reason, as soon as you do nothing, people want to shoot you. If you find yourself in a situation where you would describe it as “I wasn’t doing nuthin’” you are likely already in the cross hairs.
4. Never use your porch for anything ever.
This is simple but powerful advice. Some people think dangerous things happen in the kitchen. These people, of course, are idiots. Most of my gunshot victims come in saying “I was on my porch minding my own business and two dudes shot me!” Thus, just stay off the porch. I’m pretty sure the two dudes patrol neighborhoods just looking for people on their porches.
5. If you see any of the following, it’s time to move quickly
