February 23, 2012

• You’d better HOPE it’s a heart attack!

  In Washington the brilliant leaders have come up with an idea to solve all of the Medicaid woes for the state.  

  It’s simple (says the politicians),  All we need to do is have people not go to the Emergency Department for things that are not emergencies.  So, if they do go to the ER for something that is not an emergency, then we are not going to reimburse the doctors or hospitals for taking care of them.

  Now I will agree wholeheartedly that people come into the ER all the time for non-emergencies.  I see people with colds, earaches, toothaches, diaper rash, nausea/vomiting, and everything rotten that you can possibly think of.  Much of the time these are not true emergencies.  However, sometimes they are.  Sometimes a cold is actually a pneumonia requiring treatment.  But I have to run tests to figure this out.  The politicians would like you to know your diagnosis before you have been tested so that you don’t go to the ER unnecessarily.  Yes, you have chest pain.  Yes, it could be a heart attack.  But just think, it might just be a cold, right?

  Hmm…

  Here’s the great part.  As an ER doctor, I am also required by law to see every single person who comes through the door.  I am NOT allowed to refuse service.  So, if someone comes in with a complaint that is not emergent, I am still required by law to do a screening exam and check them out.  That’s the law.  So now if I worked in Washington I would be required to evaluate people that come in, determine if they are sick or not, then if I determine they are not sick I would not be reimbursed for my effort. 

  Does this sound weird to only me?

  Let’s do some fun and exciting role playing.

  Let’s say your computer is broken and you take it to the technician to get fixed.  

  You: “I think it’s a virus in my computer, I’m scared that that’s the problem,”

  Techno-dude: “Alrighty I’ll check it out and get it fixed.

  You: “Good.  Now I want you to fix it, regardless of the problem, however, if it is NOT a virus, then I’m not going to pay you for your time and effort.”

  Techno-dude: “Uh, that doesn’t seem fair”

  You: “Shut your face-hole!  Fix it!”

   

  Yeah, that’s kinda how this works.  Still missing it, well, don’t worry, I’m loaded with analogies like the potato skins at TGIF.

   

  You: Hey Mr. Mechanic-man, my cars making a gnaaark’gnaaark’gnaaark noise (note: this noise is also made by Orcs from various video games (WOW)).

  Him: Sure, I’ll check it out.

  You: Hold up.  I’m worried that it’s my brakes and they might go out and something dangerously bad could happen.

  Him: Yeah, well, like I said, I’ll  check it out.

  You: Right, so could you fix it, but if it’s not the brakes, I’m not paying, k?

  Him: That sounds like a completely reasonable and fair way to practice business, but I’m afraid I have to punch you now

   

  What if it was with other physicians as well?

   

  Homicide detective: Hey there Mrs. Pathologist… I need you to do and autopsy on this corpse and determine how he died and if it was due to murder.  

  Doc-O-the-dead: Will do.

  Homicide detective: One thing though.  If, after you do all that work and determine the cause, it turns out that it was NOT foul play, we’re not paying for your work.

  Doc-O-the-dead: …reeeeeally?

   

  I guess getting forced to work for free is not a bad thing.  I suppose we should just do the same with the politician.  You have 2 years in office.  You said that unemployment would be down, the economy would be up, there would be less taxes and more programs for the poor.  The opposite of all of that has happened… So now you don’t get paid.  Yeah, I know you were trying your best and tried to do what you thought was right, but we’re not paying, sorry.

   

  If only I had a comic with a squid that conveyed my frustration.

  Oh well, here’s another comic with a squid

   

  

  • 11:38 am
  • 3 Comments