November 15, 2011
-
Peeling off your face
It’s often the little things in life that make a difference.
A kind smile to the lady having a bad day. A quick gesture of assurance, kindness, or the little extra time spent with a loved one to really show that you care. The quick note just saying “I love you.”
Yet more often than not the small choices that make a big difference are wrong.
I don’t like telling people that they made wrong choices. Who am I to point my finger at you and say “I’m right, and you’re wrong.” Well, in a few instances, I’m going to keep saying it.
1. Smoking. (I’ll keep beating this dead horse until the carcass is only delicious horse mulch)
Also, the topic I wanted to cover…
2. Seatbelts & motorcycle helmets. (recently a friend took care of someone in a bad car accident. He was found in the backseat of the car. This would normally not be a bad thing, except he was in the back seat of a car after going through the windshield and back window of another car. Needless to say, a seat belt might have improved the outcome.)
So here’s the deal. Here in Michigan people (and by people I mean the slug-like parasites (lawyers (please not not all lawyers are terrible, one of my best friends in college is actually a lawyer (though he was only mediocre at ping-pong (though this really doesn’t make him less off a good person)), and a pretty cool guy)) seen more commonly in Aliens movies) are trying to repeal the mandatory motorcycle helmet law. Their main argument is this:
“I know it’s stupid NOT to wear a helmet, but I want it to be MY choice to be stupid and it only affects me!”
People don’t want to be told to not be stupid. They want to embrace their own stupidity and be comfortable with it. They want to wrap stupidity around them like a warm sweater. They snuggle up to their bad decisions as if the choice was an idiotic constipated St. Bernard, lapping at their stupid faces with the slobber of consequences be damned. The slobber of consequences, however, often hurt more people than yourself.
Let’s make up an example. I’ll just pick a name randomly, by clicking google images and typing in slobbering dog and finding the first name of the dog I pick… Bruno. Perfect.
Also, for effect, Bruno will talk like Captain Caveman from the old Hanna-Barbara cartoons. I suggest you click this right now so you know what the heck I’m talking about. Captain…CAAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAN! Oh yeah, that feels good.
BRUNO: Unga-Bunga, me no need helmet, if me get hurt, me not care! Me strong!
ME: But Bruno, with less than 10 seconds, you can reduce the chance of serious injury
BRUNO: Me drive good, no me need! Unga! Me no crash before, me no plan to! Why you plan to crash?
ME: No one plans to crash, Bruno, but don’t you realize-
BRUNO (interrupting): If me be dead, no me care! Me make worms strong since they eat strong Bruno!
ME: But what if you’re just seriously injured? Head injuries can cause horrific long-term, preventable consequences that-
BRUNO: -and me have skull, so me have inside helmet from God. You think you better than God? You say you a doc, but you no know skull is in head. Skull strong. Me safe with skull. Go skull go!
ME: But that doesn’t-
BRUNO: -and if me no get hurt bad, how me get disability for many years? Me just get cool race wheelchair! Me go vroom and have modifications to wheelchair so it go 70! Me go vroom and pass you on right in your hippy prius you drive so slow in fast lane.
ME: What!? I don’t even drive a Prius and what does that have to do-
BRUNO: Unga-Bunga! Seatbelts make you hippy. My arms strong. You have puny arms, you can wear belt for wimps if you want. Me get it fights and block punches with face, that be how strong Bruno is!
ME: I’m pretty sure I’m not winning this with you-
BRUNO: Unga, you just now getting it?
Hmm, I planned for me to win that argument, but you can’t win arguments with the Bruno’s of the world. Thus, instead of them facing the consequences of their actions, the rest of us must deal with it.
Like so many things that occur in the ER I find that logic simply doesn’t apply.
Like I always say, and ounce of prevention is worth a pounding in the arse by a constipated St. Bernard, or something like that.
Do you always wear your helmet and/or seat belt?
Comments (1)
yeah, even tho I hate seatbelts, I feel naykid without having one on. a commercial I saw way before I worked at the dark side really got to me. it was a young woman laughing and saying “seatbelts are too confining” then it flashes to someone in a full body cast. corny but it worked : )
by the way, I used to know someone who could pull things out of her bra just like capt. caveman. candy bars, wrench sets, you name it..