May 22, 2011
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top 10 Random Things Heard in the ER
I’ve been saving random things I’ve heard in the ER over the last year or so. I thought I would share a few with you. I swear each and everyone one of these is a direct quote, none of the following were made up. They came from patients, families, nurses, and random drunks. I’m listing just 10, since people love lists of 10, and most of you are people.
Let the madness begin:
10. <about having to do a pelvic exam>
“Time to go to Australia.”
”What?”
“You know, go Down Under”
9. ”Oh, I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on”
8. <drunk> “Real men don’t wear diapers!”
<nurse> “You just peed your pants…”
7. ”You keep shoving patients up my already raped anus”
6. ”One day, when I eat Ethiopian food I’ll come over and fart in your face and make you hungry.”
5. (on arriving to my shift) “Did you sleep today? You look like shit.”
4. ”I just spilled some surgi-lube on my thingy… I mean my tool… I mean… grrrr!”
3. (nurse to patient, referring to STD’s) ”Ma’am, you can get everything but pregnant, in your mouth.”
2. ”Build a man a fire, he’s warm for the night. Light a man on fire, he’s warm for the rest of his life.”
1. <Resident> “We need to bring prohibition back!”
<nurse> “Then where would we work?”
Comments (4)
That’s awesome!
Hahaha, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in quite a while.
Lots of interesting goings on in the ER, I love to just listen and watch. Unfortunately, there are some REALLY terrible doctors at my local ER, and about one out of every two times I go there for help, they make it worse somehow, so mostly I just take my chances at home these days. But I’d seen and heard some crazy things when I used to be willing to go. It was interesting.
“Ma’am, you can get everything but pregnant, in your mouth.”