January 30, 2010
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Logic
How it actually happened vs. How I wish it could have happened
Me: So what brings you to the ER today?Supergenius: I’m really short of breath. I’ve had a cough and can’t breath fer 2 months.
Me: Alrighty. Well, it says here you have asthma, right?
Supergenius: Yeah. I dunno if its that though
Me: Uh-huh. Have you been taking your medications?
SG: Uh, no (duh). I can’t afford them, they’re too ‘spensive.
Me: Oh, wow, that’s really crummy. Especially since most of them are really cheap, like 4 dollars at Walmart, or some of the are free.
SG: Yeah, well, I don’t like taking them either.
Me: Ah. Um, what? Ok, nevermind. Let me listen to your lungs here (wheeze… wheeze… wheeze… cough)
SG: Maybe could be a little asthma
Me: Yeah, this is asthma. And those are cigarettes. How much do you smoke?
SG: I’ve been cutting down.
Me: How much do you smoke?
SG: Well, I haven’t been smoking as much as I used to
Me: How much do you smoke?
SG: About a half a
Me: (glares at her…)
SG: I mean, about a pack a day.
Me: You know, you really shouldn’t smoke. You really REALLY shouldn’t smoke if you are an asthmatic. Also, smoking is very expensive. If you stopped smoking for 1 week, you could afford most of your medications for the entire year.
SG: Yeah, well, I dunno if that’s causing this.
Me: Your an asthmatic who is wheezing that smokes a pack of cigarettes every day… Well, let’s do some tests…
HOW I WISH IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.
Me: So what brings you to the ER?
Supergenius: I’m short of breath and I have this cough-
Me: Stop right there. According to my 2 second review of the chart, you smoke every day and don’t take any of your medications. YOU ARE AN IDIOT. WHY WHY WHY! SERIOUSLY ARE YOU REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT BEING SHORT OF BREATH? AAAAAAAH!!! AAAAAH! (This is when my clothes start ripping and my skin changes green. I start tearing down the monitors and ripping the medical equipment off the wall).
HULK ANGRY AT UBER-DUMMY! NO GET HOW YOU BE HERE !! GAAAAAH!Then I calmly walk away and discharge her.
Comments (3)
It will be 9 years since I’ve quit smoking, I never had asthma, and still don’t. Smokers will use anything to rationalize smoking. My bro and SIL have been “cutting down” for years. Until someone actually wants to quit and take on a new attitude to go with that, they won’t do it. For some, it is easy to quit, for most others, like me, it’s really hard, but can be done. With the way that lady thinks, I don’t think even a healthscare will help her. It’s mostly mental.
I was impressed with a friend’s husband. He had a heart attack and quit right then. I didn’t tell him, but I didn’t think he would do it – just because I knew how I thought when I was a smoker.
you generally manage to gross me out and crack me up at the same time.
it’s really pretty incredibly stupid, huh. the things that people do…