August 2, 2008

• Getting Huge

  As pretty much all of you know, I have the body of a Greek god.

  Unfortunately, that Greek god is currently the god Adephagia which makes me sad.

  Today I woke up and my whole body was very sore.  I do have a little cough, so I was figuring that it might be from the slight cold.  However, that did not account for the aches all over my body.  Then I remembered.  I played some hard core Ping-pong a few days ago.  Hmm.  So yeah, I’m ridiculously sore and in pain after Ping-pong.  PINGPONG!  Sad.  I’m looking into getting the P90x.  Getting Huge, or better yet, at least getting in shape.

  Oh, and it’s officially not July anymore.  So that sucks.  This means that I got to start studying for The first Step of the Board exams again.  BOOOOO.  boo.  After that, then the oral boards.  Then and only then, will I be done with the madness.  But, to be realistic, post-residency life rules like no other.  I have more free time and I am seeing friends and family much more than I have in the past… well… decade or so.

  You know what this entry needs?  A good tangent.  Lemme check my files… ah, here’s one:

  I’m about to go see Batman, finally.  I put a Foley catheter in myself for two reasons.  First, I didn’t want to leave the movie to have to pee.  Second, I am pretty sure I would be peeing my pants anyways since the movie is that awesome.  The only possible problem would be if the Foley bag gets completely filled during the movie, which, more than likely could happen.  Thus, I think we’ll have to get the small popcorn (804 oz size) so that I can use it once the popcorn is done.  Now I know I can hear you grumble about a doctor and cleanliness and infection and blah blah blah your an idiot.  Pee is sterile.  You can drink it.  In fact, you SHOULD drink it.  I’ve seen that crap you slug down day after day.  All of your “Energy Drinks” and “Vitamin Water” and “Coffee” are just water with caffeine and a multivitamin.  And that’s another thing, what’s the deal with “toxins?”  Seriously.  I mean to write about this a year ago after I went on a cruise and during the tour of the ship we visited the spa and the masseuse lectures us about toxins and accumulating toxins and getting out toxins.  What toxins???  Then, more recently, I saw more things about the Kinoiche Foot pads… which suck out toxins.  Where are these Toxins?  How did I get these toxins?  As it turns out, toxins are everywhere and everybody has them and they cause all diseases.  You got a sore neck?  Toxins.  Do you get headaches ever?  Toxins.  Have you ever had diarrhea?  Toxins.  It had nothing to do with the fact that you ate the extra greasy nacho supremes.  No.  Toxins.  If only I could market something that was easy to get so that I could fool people to getting rid of toxins… But where to look for the solution.  Oh, I know, I’ll look in this paragraphs.  AHA!  There’s the answer.  That’s right.  Drink my pee to get rid of your toxins?  Insomnia?  Only my pee can cure it!  Do you ever wake up tired?  Drink my urine!  Have you ever gotten sore after Ping-pong, this urine can help.

  Aah.  That’s a good rant.  Now I feel better.  Now let me go Google “Drink my Pee” for the picture… here ya go.

  

  • 4:20 pm
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