June 26, 2008
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New Leaf
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.
I start my first day as an attending.
The safety net is gone.
I’m flying solo.
Alone.
Me.
I.
Hmm.
I guess so.
I’m sure I’ll get help.
I mean, other’s will still be there.
I won’t be the only one working, and yet…
I am responsible now for all of the choices, all decisions.
Well, enough of that. I’ll try not to drag out the point anymore that I’m a frightened little 7 year old girl in a 31 year-olds hairy, nearly wookie-like body. But tomorrow I have my first real shift. I’ve been waiting forever for it, and now that it’s here I’m scared. The Shel Silverstein’s whispering “Whatifs” are coming at me from all sides. What if I make the wrong diagnosis? What if I miss a fracture? What if I start someone on the wrong antibiotics? What if I forget to dictate? What if I act to slowly? What if I forget all that I’ve learned in residency? What if? What if! What if?!?!?
I know I’m ready, but I don’t know what the future holds. I’ve trained my whole life for tomorrow to start, I suppose I should be a little scared, and excited, and nervous. Thank goodness I can put in a Foley for when I want to wet myself and I already got the 50 pack of Depends, so I think I’ll be fine
Comments (9)
I think I have a solid answer to all of your “what if”s.
A malpractice lawsuit.
DUHN, DUHN, DUNNNNNNNNNN…
god that would suck
haven’t heard from you in a while, glad to know you’re still ticking.
@eadie - hah! Thanks for the vote of confidence
I should hopefully be blogging a bit more… obviously residency got busy again, so that ate up most of my time. Now that it is over… who knows
Welcome back! It’s good to hear your wookiee analogies and adult diaper jokes again!
I’m sure you’ll be fine. Think of it this way, you’ve made it this far, there’s no way your momentum could slow down now.
Congrats! If you weren’t worrying and excited about all the above, that would be scary! All those hours you put in will carry you thru tomorrow! I am so happy for you!
congrats! i’m sure you’ll do awesome, don’t let the what if’s get in the way too much, they can really fuck things up…
yay! you will do great! Congrats on finishing your training!
it’s better to be nervous – adreanline sharpens your senses!
If all else fails, just tell them to take an aspirin & come back if they don’t feel any better (after your shift has finished, obviously).
make it happen dude, no worries LOL easy for me to say